I have a fair amount of money.  I think I could buy Midway and set them straight.  Wait, what's wrong with Midway?  I'll tell you.

 

Midway is in trouble financially.  They were set to be delisted from the New York Stock Exchange because the price of their stock, per share, fell below one dollar.  They just got an extention to try to pull themselves out of their hole.  And they wont pull it off.  Why?  Because the people at Midway are a mindless bunch of botards who can barely find their way out of their homes every day to go to work.  Here's a short list of things Midway did to ruin their own lives:

 

I think part of the reason Midway has a bad rep in the gaming industry is because, as my friend Trygon says, Midway is made up of retarded lazy employees.  I'll expand more upon this in number 4 below, but let me just point out the final Achievement in the Xbox Live Arcade version of Smash TV, a classic game and one of the very few golden eggs Midway ever produced.  The final Achievement, called Game Master (worth 50 Gamerscore points) is glitched and can't ever be unlocked.  It wont ever be unlocked because Midway wont fix it.  It's ok Midway, no one will care, right?  You know how hard it is to fulfill the requirements to earn that Achievement?  Oh, it's not that hard, you just have to BEAT THE ENTIRE GAME WITHOUT LOSING MORE THAN 3 LIVES.

 

The aformentioned Smash TV, Rampage, NARC, Satan's Hallow, and Joust.  All 5 are retro late 80's-early 90's games.  Everything else is pig vomit.  Except, maybe I should add a 6th:  Primal Rage.  Maybe.  But no.

 

Seriously, what the hell kind of decision was Mortal Kombat VS. DC Universe?  The game is chock-full of fail.  Here's a mini-list of why Midway deserves to be bankrupt over this monstrosity.

 

A.  Robin and the fraile powerless Lex Luthor were included.

B.  Badasses like Lobo and V (V for Vendetta) were excluded.

C.  Because of the bad combo of MK and DC, MK's killer's reputations are forever tarnished.

D.  Magic weaken's the super heroes despite the fact not all MK character's know magic?

E.  Also on the subject, is Midway suggesting that Harry Potter could stomp Superman's ass?

 

You more than likely hate wrestling, but since this is my blog and not yours, kindly get bent.  TNA iMPACT! is a vastly superior product from WWE's.  Wrestling fans wont admit it, but the WWE is horrible.  First of all, Vince McMahon is a dictator.  I read wrestling tabloid websites like LordsOfPain.net and I've seen myself many an article about some kind of temper tantrum Vince McMahon has backstage of his own show.  Hardcore legend Mick Foley fled the WWE because Vince McMahon wouldn't quit PMSing and screaming at Foley through his headset during live shows.  The wrestlers backstage are practically living in fear when McMahon get's moody.  Every week I read a report that someone was fired from the WWE for pissing him off.  Top it off with s***ty storylines (Vince McMahon blowing himself up in a limo, elderly female wrestler Mae Young giving birth to a rubber hand, and Triple H accusing Kane of being a Necrophiliac), and you have a disgusting product.  TNA may be newer and awfully scripted, but it's by far greater.  And Midway ruined it's video game.

 

Midway, if you somehow managed to avoid destroy yourselves, do some research and find out what gamers want in a wrestling game.  The WWE doesn't do it, and you certainly didn't do it.  THQ/Yukes' games should not be the basis for the TNA iMPACT video game franchise.  You want to look at the Nintendo 64 games by THQ/AKI (and actually follow through with it, not just say it and do the opposite).  Better yet, check out Spike's Fire Pro Wrestling Returns and the other FPW games in the series.

 

You need female wrestlers (TNA Knockouts), blood, more than one weapon type, a better Create-a-Wrestler mode with more parts and better moveset customication, the ability to use created wrestlers online, the ability to save more than 5 custom wrestlers, AND TONE DOWN THE GOD DAMN DIFFICULTY.  I swear to god the CPU cheats in Story mode the same on all three dificulty levels.